Sexual Harassment is another issue that demonstrates that women often do not get the respect they deserve at work.
What is sexual harassment?
- Does commenting on your appearance qualify?
- How about asking for a date? Once? Repeatedly? If it’s your boss doing the asking and there is an undertone – or an overt statement – that suggests that your professional success depends upon your co-operation?
- How about fondling, patting or pinching?
- What if someone is verbally abusive? Does that count? Name calling?
- How about pornography being shown in your presence?
- Sexual graffiti?
Any of those items could be sexual harassment depending up on the degree of intensity, repetition and how you choose to process what happens. And how you choose to deal with it.
Here’s the legal definition:
"When the workplace is permeated with 'discriminatory intimidation, ridicule, and insult,' that is 'sufficiently severe or pervasive to alter the conditions of the victim's employment and create an abusive working environment,' Title VII is violated." Harris v. Forklift Systems, Inc., 114 S.Ct. 367 (1993) (quoting Meritor Savings Bank v. Vinson, 477 U.S. 57 (1986)).
What can you do about it?
There are three basic approaches to combat sexual harassment. You may need all three.- Physical strength and physical competence
- Attitude changes
- Legal resources
There are physical changes you can make.
Immediately take a self-defense course. There might be one at the YMCA or an adult education class through the local high school or college. Lift weights, hit a lunching bag, try kick boxing…anything! Women who know how to physically defend themselves automatically become mentally tougher and they project a “don’t mess with me,” aura.
There are attitude changes you can use.
We all know women who are easy targets for such things as harassment and others who are not. This does NOT mean that it is your fault; merely that predators tend to attack the target that appears to offer the least challenge.
If you have kids and your kids know not to mess with you when they get “the look,” then you know how to make yourself look strong and formidable. Take that look to work with you and USE IT! If you’ve never developed that look, then remember someone who uses it.
The look has to say what Clint Eastwood said, “You talkin’ to me, Punk? You talkin’ to ME?” Practice it until it becomes a natural part of who you are.
You also have to fully and completely respect yourself. Would your boss put up with such nonsense? Would Hilary Clinton or Laura Bush? You deserve as much respect as they do and you have to mentally prepare yourself to settle for nothing less.
Search on www.google.com for sexual harassment legal resources Illinois, (or whatever your state is) to find out who can help you legally because sometimes you have to let the law deal those bad guys.
And of course you might want to read my books because helping women get respect is what I’m all about! You’ll find tips on how to look taller and thinner and project more authority. I promise that’s all part of developing the look and the attitude that demands respect.
