Ever wonder why you instantly like some people and instantly dislike others?
Why some people feel like old friends the first time you meet them and other relationships never go beyond the superficial stage? What causes that?
Have you ever gone to a conference or a meeting with people were comfortable with? And when your attention wanders you might look to your left and to your right and observe that all three of your bodies could be carbon copies? People who are “in sync” often position their bodies in much the same way without ever thinking about it.
You’ve probably noticed people in restaurants who are in love and sitting across from each other at a table. They both lean left; they both lean right. They both lean in; they both lean out. They both cross their arms, or cross their legs, or they each pick up a glass—at the same time. That's called MIRRORING.
Now if people who already like each other do this naturally, do you suppose you could do it ON PURPOSE if you wanted someone to like you? HINT: The answer is yes -- and that will increase your like ability factor immediately.
Mirroring’s basic premise is very simple. Observe the other person’s body and position your body in a similar way. If his legs are crossed, you cross yours. If he leaves back in his chair, you lean back in yours. If he folds his arms, you fold yours.
Here are the caveats: Don't do them all, don't do them too fast, and don't call attention to yourself when you do them. It has to look natural-- and it is. You're just doing it on purpose this time!
Another tool is called pacing. So when someone talks to you fast and loud, you respond fast and loud. If she speaks softly and slowly, you respond in kind.
The rationale behind mirroring and pacing is that people like people who are like themselves. So when you "mirror" their behavior or actions, you are sending a message that you are like they are. And what could be more likable than that?
Charismatic people are first and foremost likable. My favorite definition of charisma is, “A special quality of leadership that captures the imagination and inspires unswerving allegiance and devotion.” Who wouldn’t want “unswerving allegiance and devotion,” especially if you are trying to persuade someone?
My favorite definition of charm is, “The quality of pleasing, attracting or fascinating.”
The truth is, most people seem just plain dull. Actually, they aren’t, but most people seem dull because they are unable to unleash the charming, charismatic, elements within their personality. They have been constrained and restrained by their parents, their upbringing, their teachers and society. They have been encouraged -- or forced -- to sit still, be quiet, to speak when spoken to, to not make waves… in other words, to be “good.” As a result, they seem dull. That doesn't have to be you.
When you learn these skills it will simply make life easier. People will like you faster, you'll feel happier, you will reduce your stress level and life will simply be more fun!
What if YOU could quickly learn and use the Nine Elements of Charisma and do all that? You can! I've been studying this stuff for over 20 years and more importantly than that — using it! It's one of the reasons I am an effective speaker, but more important than that, people tend to like me quickly. That truly makes my life easier. …and the Like-Ability Factor is only one of the nine elements!
Learn the other eight ESSENTIAL ELEMENTS of Charisma in my Special Report: How to Be Authentically Charming and Charismatic in Business, in Sales, in Speaking and in Person!
Only $9.97 for 16 power-packed, printer-friendly pages that will help you make friends fast and that REALLY comes in handy if you’re in sales, have to work with the public, want to get along better with your family (even teen-agers!), —or if you’re SINGLE! <G> (I’m not kidding, this is powerful stuff!)
